I never cry in public.
..well almost never.
A few days ago, i embarrassed myself in front of some of my PHI Q.Ave team. Bigla akong umiyak. As in yung iyak na ang hirap pigilan, ganun. My eyes were all red from the tears i refuse to shed. Ask my friends from college who've known me for 4 years, most of them would tell you that they've never seen me cry. When i think about it, maybe i cried once or twice pa lang in public. Pero yung hagulgol effect, maybe not since i was young. Grabe, i can't believe how hard it was not to cry that day. I know i looked like a fool. Here i was the supposed leader of the store and then with one bad incident, i go running to my office and cry.
The whole time they were asking me what's wrong, thinking it was because of an almost-left-check amounting to P2800. Tingin ko it was a combination of things that happened not only during the day but during my whole stay at the store and my work responsibilities. Lumabas lang talaga lahat nung instance na yun--lahat ng sama ng loob, lungkot, inis, galit, stress etc etc sa work and everything else (but mostly sa work). I'm a person who's really hard on myself. It's not that i expect things to be perfect, but i'm easily frustrated when i know i can do so much better but i end up disappointing. I'm a people-pleaser talaga. Masakit for me pag may iba akong taong nasasaktan. Mahirap pala maging ganun sa trabahong ito. I need to build a thicker skin and learn to separate my personal feelings and business. Ang sensitive ko pa naman. Hayy nakakahiya talaga pag naalala ko. :p Oh well, lesson learned. Never again.
